Over My Head

I am a former IT executive who spent the first part of my life working very hard to ensure the safety and comfort of my family. In early 2023, doctors diagnosed me with a severe disease that could threaten my life. This caused me to examine my life, where I had been, where I was now, and where I might be going.

“We found a lesion on your lower left lung, and we think this has spread to two lymph nodes. The first thing that went through my mind was the words to Tim McGraw’s 2004 hit record “Live Like You Are Dying.” [1]

At about the same time, I rejoined the Episcopal Church, a Christian denomination that had defined much of my life, from elementary school through young adulthood. Finally, in my sixties, Church seemed unnecessary; to me, it was another form of a country club. Yes, the clergy preached the Gospel, but the congregations were not focused on what it meant to be truly human. It was as if Church was something they were expected to do—perhaps more of an image thing. They seemed to attend for reasons other than spiritual growth. Scott Peck, a favorite author and maybe a bit of a hero, introduced these ideas to me in his most important work, The Road Less Travelled, where he writes that “suffering is essential for growth.[2] Christ’s crucifixion represents the pinnacle of suffering leading to transcendence of spirit over flesh.

I was happy to return to the Episcopal Church (my spiritual home) when I needed to make peace with the Creator.  However, things are not always what they seem.  After several rounds of chemo and radiation therapy and significant amounts of prayer, my disease is now rated as inactive.  I am not “cured.” It is too early to tell, and the disease can still return. My physicians will monitor my condition, and I will receive immune therapy for the next year, attempting to train my body’s immune system to destroy any resurgence.

So, I have been given a few more years to do what I am destined to do. One of the most meaningful times I spend in my new Church home is Centering Prayer. Here, I became aware of Christian Mysticism and the writing of Fr. Richard Rohr OFM, a Franciscan friar.

After reading some of Father Rohr’s work, I agree with his belief that Christianity and Western society today desperately need to refocus on true spirituality and move away from what Rohr calls Dualistic thinking (it is them vs. us). [3] We also need to recognize Christians must understand the true meaning of the Trinity (In three there is one).  The following authors have all contributed to my understanding of the Gospel then and how I understand it now.

 

•               Arthur Douglas Ganss	•               Bart Ehrman
•               Charles D. Marler	•               Colin Becroft
•               David James Duncan	•               David Thoreau
•               Fr. Richard Rohr OFM	•               Homer (not Simpson)
•               James Finley	•               John Dewey
•               John Rawls	•               Ken Wilbur
•               M. Scott Peck	•               Marcus Aurelius
•               Richard L. Venezky	•               Robert Frost
•               Thich Nhat Hahn	•               Thomas Hobbes
•               Thomas Merton	•               W. B. Yeats
•               W. H. Auden	•               William Harper
•               William R. McKean

 

Each of these individuals exemplifies what Thomas Merton called the examined life. They examine their relationship with the Creator and Creation through living and pursuing their spiritual tradition. The art and science of contemplation should be taught more today and at an earlier age.  Dogma and liturgy have their purpose. These are often the gateway to a deeper relationship with Creation. Had I not attended a nominally religious high school and grown up in the Episcopal Church, I would not have had the essential educational and theological tools to continue my spiritual journey.

I will write more about each of these authors and how they have contributed to my theology. Yes, it is perfect, possibly, and essential that we develop our concept of the Creator, including all traditions, as the Creator is God of All (Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jain, Manichean, Muslim, and Quaker). Once we understand there are multiple paths to enlightenment and salvation and we leave dualistic thinking, we will recognize that we are part of God’s total Creation and that life is NOT a zero-sum game, where we can all collectively win.

 

[1] Nichols, J., & Wiseman, C. (2004). Live Like You Were Dying. On Live Like You Were Dying. Curb Records, MGM Records. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9TShlMkQnc

[2] Peck, M. S. (1978). The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. Simon and Schuster.

[3] Rohr, R. (2019). The World, The Flash, and the Devil: What do we do with evil? Center for Action and Contemplation.